Synastry – Relationship Astrology and Compatibility

Relationship Astrology Relationship Astrology and compatibility seem to be the prevalent focus for most of us who read the stars.  No matter where we are at, we are on some level concerned or consumed with a relationship of sorts whether romantic, business, friendship or family.  Its an area that causes some of the most distress and joy, sorrow and bliss.  We are bound at some point to encounter struggle and conflict in relationships as well as comfort and support.  It goes without saying that how we manage the complexity of relationships, reflects back our own tendencies, habits and character.

Many continue to reach out for that soul connection, hoping for a completion of meeting their better half or a missing piece to a puzzle as opposed to one whole meeting another whole.  Suffice it to say, most astrology readings I do are predominately about relationships.  My career started in the counseling and Social Work field and after several years of challenging, crisis work with persons living with disabilities, mental illness, the indigent elderly suffering debilitating disease, handicaps, alzheimer’s while preparing for death and dying, those escaping domestic abuse finding refuge in crisis shelters, it was a pleasant change to find an opportunity to work in relationship counseling, coaching and match making.

I came across an Introduction Service, a dating service that was quite popular at the time all before the explosion of the internet dating sites. Matchmaking is still an art and business you see quite readily, even now as people are becoming less enchanted by and more disappointed with internet dating, still wanting to have that third party support to find them the perfect match.  I became very immersed in this work learning about all the parameters around compatibility and personality profiling. Relationship Astrology fit as the perfect tool to help match all the complexity, fine tuning to fit a compatible match.  In my psychology training, I came across many types of personality profiling such as Myers Briggs etc. however I couldn’t think of a better personality profiler more intricate and precise than an astrology profile to gauge compatibility, chemistry as well as basic personality dynamics.

Relationship Astrology is an important study as through our relationships is where we learn the most about ourselves.  The reflection and polarity of others bounces back to us  regarding our perceptions as well as others perceptions of us.  And we have all heard the axiom-perception is reality.  How one sees you and their perception is based on their own unique lens and filter.  Perception is rarely objective. Relationship Astrology is a main focus for me as most scenarios or situations have something to do with a relationship, partnership or interaction that causes an outcome. What is most important in relationship astrology readings is understanding your own needs and individual complexes first.  A really great relationship could be available to you but you might not be ready for it, you may have much self growth to reach your own potential, the timing may be off or you could be at different places in your life than your partner.

We form relationships with coworkers, bosses, companies (organizational cultures) and all these interfaces, and not just with our romantic partners and family members.  Matchmaking isn’t just for romance but for business too.  We have all seen the toxic consequences of work environments infected with personality clashes.  Rarely are we solely isolated as even from an independent posture, we have some connecting principle whether with a person, a situation or agreement that has us balancing, negotiating and compromising.   We learn more, become more conscious and self aware through our encounters in relationships as the constant reflection and meeting of the other brings us up close and personal to our self to face. The ultimate rule of relationships (Libra fundamental principle) is balance between self and other and all the compromising in between.

Relationships are very important in business and successful interviews landing you a job can mark pretty quickly the compatibility and chemistry between you and the company.  Team building and having that perfect measure of cohesion with many unique contributions from variant angles and perspectives brings the richness and synergy to creative development.  Collaborative brainstorming welcoming individual input that builds on the growth of ideas-inclusive sharing and expression that fosters bridging and open minded principles.  Diversity and difference develops a farther reach of unifying culture and values.

There  are several areas to explore in relationship astrology readings such as Synastry (chart comparisons) Composite (chart combinations) and Transits as well as Progressions effecting relationship cycles.  Venus rules over Libra, the domain of relationships. Venus and the Moon are the traditional significators to look at regarding love and relationships although many of the other planets will play a strong part in how our connections are shaped such as the influence of Pluto bringing deep intense bonds or Uranus, unusual and unconventional associations.  I have seen charts with classic favorable synastry and composites, however difficult transits tended to trump any positive favor, indicating the timing was just not right. I have also seen charts with weak synastry or very difficult comparisons blossom under positive transits.

Sun Sign astrology and matching Sun to Sun such as Leo and Aries or Taurus and Capricorn is very superficial and only scratching the surface regarding compatibility.  Sun Moon synastry is fundamental in emotional compatibility. Sun Venus synastry is favorable for romantic love. Venus Mars synastry is key in romantic and sexual compatibility and chemistry for animal magnetism and the romantic, passionate, attraction, metal to magnet equation.  Any aspects between Venus Mars will show some element of desire,  the most compelling being Venus Mars in the same sign (especially a female Venus join a male Mars) or in a cross.  Trines (Venus  Taurus on someone’s Mars Capricorn) and sextiles (Venus Cancer on someone’s Mars Taurus) are harmonious and pleasant.  Squares and oppositions are dynamic and add sparks and impetuous matches.  These are all just pieces of the puzzle that don’t always guarantee chemistry and can’t be relied upon exclusively.

The 7th house is the house of relationships.  The natural ruler of the 7th house is Venus, which in turn,  rules Libra.  Each individual chart has their own ruler of their 7th and any planets in the 7th are key to look at in understanding relationship dynamics and patterns.  The 5th house (natural ruler of the 5th house is the Sun)  is the house of romance which plays a part in more casual and lighthearted relationships.  The Moon is the natural ruler of the 4th house, the home and family and reflects the key and vital link the Moon plays in relationships to do with nurture, care and emotional support.  You may have a connection with someone who hits all the Venus Mars Sun bells and whistles but without an emotional connection, the relationship will feel empty and void of depth.

Venus rules over your value system which is very important, especially in relationships. You could be very compatible or have great chemistry with someone but have completely different goals and values in life.  It also depends on what you want in the relationship-is this romance, sex or a commitment? In business, ethics and integrity may mean something completely different from one person to the next.  You may find that some will be great sex partners but not long lasting enduring, responsible partners.  Some great friends but not romantic.  One may have a more open attitude to exclusivity and monogamy than the other or may be going through a phase where they want to “sow their oats”.  One may not believe in the traditional values such as marriage, or one may not want children or may want to travel or live in a tent!   Of course, values can and do change but connecting based on potential is never a great idea.

The most trying relationships are with our close personal relationships and those with family where we may find compatibility difficult yet we don’t have the ability as easily to sever  or separate ties as we would in our business or personal relationships.  These blood bonds carry us through time and in many cases through many painful emotional transitions. The early relationships we form with family and during childhood are often carried with us for a lifetime, the patterns that are imprinted and embedded in our psyche where we continuously confront shadows of development that reflects on how we make connections throughout our lives.

When I look at a relationship as potential I look at compatibility and chemistry (Synastry), Synergy (Composite) and individual goals and values (Natal).  The Universe often presents these key relationships in all their variances at key turning points in our life.  It’s easier to navigate relationships when we know the Universe is giving some clues as to what we are experiencing.  For example, a very romantic and fantasy induced or deceptive relationship can appear with a Neptune transit to Venus/Moon and our relationship aspects where it may not have the intention to be a committed relationship but a soul connection that gives you an opportunity to experience the truly open and unconditional love of Neptune or could be the delusion and inability to take the relationship to any form of any real and long lasting value.  A Pluto transit to Venus/Moon could show deep and powerful connections, often obsessive with a compulsive quality to them and potentially abusive or domineering taking us to uncover and understand our own compulsions and obsessions.

The whole concept of fitting a circle into a square peg can be expounded here.  How many have beaten a dead horse, ran against a tide, pushed beyond workable challenges to see something be it relationship, job, career, that it is just not workable.  Some will carry these connections for lifetimes and continually attract them if they don’t resolve and let them go.  These Karmic connections have their own lessons  as well as purpose often with passion and ensuing wrenching heartbreak that reason and logic just can’t explain away.  But it is also worthy to offer a sign that something is beyond its usefulness or a lesson is learned.

No relationship will be without some challenge or compromise.  All relationships go through change and will have to weather storms at some point often seen with challenging transits and progressions.  The progressed composite is a particularly rich view of the relationship at a current time frame. Opposites attract sometimes for a reason to balance each other out. Often we attract those who have qualities and elements in a chart we lack in order to bring some wholeness and fusion. A person may be predominately water and lack fire but attract someone with that fire emphasis-the relationship will be challenging but fulfilling at the same time.

We also can meet others who bring out the best or the worst in each other.  Projection is typical where someone can literally paste their complexes and energies on another if that person is not owning their own natural tendencies. This is common where someone may proclaim to be gentle and steers away from conflict only to consistently attract conflict and anger from the outside.  In looking at the chart, you can see quite clear that the person has an inherent element of conflicting energy they are not practicing or using constructively.

Relationships built on “bird’s of a feather flock together” such as air to air do make sense however it’s good to have a bit of both.  Differences adds to the growth opportunity in relations.  In mature relationships, these differences can be dynamic and provide a powerful creative element.  In a growth relationship, one or both parties might need to go through some learning experiences for their own development.  That is the nature of relationships as we are all unique and have much growth together.  But hopefully the good outweighs the challenge where it makes it all worthwhile.  Some connections are impulsive, electric and exciting ones as much as those who really understand you and your uniqueness and are open to learn from those differences while being supportive and there for you giving the latitude and freedom to grow within the relationship.

Intimacy in relationships is a delicate dance.  Self worth is a deep pool.  Who hasn’t at one point sacrificed self respect and their standards, principles and values to be loved in one way or another.  Through enough sacrificing of the self we begin to learn the missing attention to our core beliefs and values.  We start to recognize our true self and individual needs once we learn what we don’t want.  This gives the resulting growth parameters in relationships of trial and error.  We aren’t going to understand our needs until we experience enough of what we don’t need.  We also are not going to know what is best for our self until we learn to actually live and understand our individual needs. Usually through these experimenting relationships we get enough lessons to learn what our boundaries are.  We learn that creating boundaries is a necessary and healthy foundation for creating healthy relationships.   One who is always giving is usually always attracting takers and visa versa.  It is just a matter of natural consequences.  My favorite motto is we get what we tolerate.

The closer relationships are those that bring you to your deepest lessons.  You see the extremes and dysfunction play out with those who are commitment phobic or those that get mired in distancing pursuing patterns and who probably subconsciously avoid or sabotage anything close often fearing losing the self and also those who form strong attachments and fuse with one another that are more often debilitating than  supportive and tend to lose touch with their inner self for fear of abandonment.  Its common some deeper connections can blind you and get you hooked before you have a chance to easily exit in order that certain lessons be learned.  Those challenging aspects are very compelling and magnetic and can easily mislead with passion that turns negative. The relationship difficulties rear their ugly head after marriage or commitment, where the challenging aspects were not apparent with the rosier aspects  that glued them together in the first place. Suffice to say many times its just turning a blind eye where one was aware of the challenges but chose to ignore them.

It’s easier said than done trying to tell someone that this isn’t the best of connections however each connection and relationship that develops has its own reasoning or justification that can’t be rationalized out of.  This is where the term soul mate takes on its true meaning.  Not the romantic, blissful sea of pleasure one expects but often a soul mate connection is riddled with strife and learning if not for the necessary growth that needs to occur for those involved.  Some people are driven and attracted by a constant stream of passionate and edgy energy. They thrive on it as the only familiar way to be in a  relationship dynamic because of their own learned behavior around this as well as innate tendencies. Some equate pain with pleasure and don’t know what peace and serenity is where masochism and sadism become a common dynamic in relationships.

In all reality, relationships both negative and positive usually have their purpose in our life.  The destructiveness and pain we experience are mostly clues to our own weak links in our psyche to have us shore up the illusions and to get in touch with our inner core-often the path to enlightenment is struggle.   Once we discover our true self and know to stand on our own as an independent unit and can honestly identify our needs with a clear appraisal is truly the liberating time we can welcome in healthy relationships.

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